Thursday, August 25, 2005

Mom to Mom

We have been praying and praying for our paperwork to come so we could just move on with things, but I haven't even slowed down to think about what was going on half way around the world............until now.
I hold in my hands the adoption contract that our daughters birthmother had to sign. She had to sign a paper giving away any and all rights to her only child.
Can you imagine what this young mother must have been feeling?
I never imagined that I would feel such heartache when I saw the papers that I had been so anxiously waiting for.

In our "Dear Birth Family" letter we wrote these words: "It is our commitment to you, to always speak about the honor, bravery, and love that you demonstrated in your decision to allow us to adopt your child."

I didn't really understand what that meant until this very moment. Seeing and touching her name and signature was just so overwhelming to me. The tears that this mother must have shed on these very papers. How could I be so insensitive to what she has been going through? I only thought of myself and how I longed to be a mother to this precious little child.

I feel so guilty, but at the same time, I know that God has a plan for this little girl and her birthmother and our family has simply been given the privilege of being included in it. God has so graciously given us this child to be our daughter. One day it will be clear as to what God's plan is for her life and why He allowed us to be her forever family.

**This is a private journal entry that I feel led to share. There are so many unexpected things that happen in the world of adoption and this was one of them for me.

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